Before I even got pregnant, Jer and I had only scratched the surface on our options for disciplining our children. We talked about the different ways we could discipline. And that was it. We left it at that....until recently. My ideal goal/method would be no spanking. Even though I was spanked as a child and I turned out ok (I think) I still don't want to spank Boston. :) And yes, when I tell people that I plan on not spanking I often get some kind of look from them. Whether its a little smirk (like, we'll see how long that lasts) or batting of the eyes (like, you should be spanking lady!) as if I just said something totally crazy. And to most, I did. Most people think that us "no spankers" are insane. And that's ok. We just simply think differently in that department. Thank goodness we live in America.
Spanking for me would be the absolute last resort. And even then, I can't even think of an instance where I would want to spank. Jer on the other hand, well, he has spanked him a hand full of times already. Did it completely break my heart each and every time? yes. A big fat, YES! But he is his dad and I refuse to manage how he disciplines. Although, he's not afraid of never spanking again if we find another way that works best for our family.
Fast forward to around the time that Boston turned 15 months old. I started really researching ways to discipline. He had started to throw little fits here and there and I knew I wanted to nip that in the bud real quick. So I asked my cousin and his wife what method they use since they have 3 boys under the age of 6 that are so well behaved. Like seriously, they are angel children. She responded by saying they parent by the love and logic idea. So I ran out and got this book and began reading it. I didn't finish it all because it seemed like it was geared more towards older children, not toddlers. And well it was....I didn't get right book! I got the one for 6 years and older. As Homer Simpson would say....."Doh!"
There are two books. Parenting with Love and Logic (this one that I got):
When I quit reading the first book I wasn't in any major rush. But now. Now that B is starting to hit and scream with being reprimanded I'm in desperate need of some good parental non-spanking advice. So that's where we are now. Saturday, I downloaded/bought the book through my Nook and before bed each night Jer and I together (so he gets the concept too) will be reading a chapter until we finish it.
So far I love it. A LOT! It's exactly what I've been looking for in a discipline "method." Two of the main things that I like about the love and logic concept is that it is 1) faith-based and 2) it discourages spanking. We are on Chapter 4 and in my book, it's pretty awesome(pun intended). I love each and every idea and tip. Just in the first 4 chapters I've learned so much. Best part - we've been putting what we've learned to use with Boston and I've seen a difference already which is so exciting.
Once we are done with the book, I'll let you know all about what I learned and my take on it.
Here's to happy toddler parenting!